When to go exclusive when dating
I would like to know that he isn’t sleeping with anyone else and won’t be sleeping with anyone else while we are sleeping together.
Should I have the “defining the relationship” conversation with him or should I wait and allow things to evolve more?
After emailing with a bunch of losers online, she meets a guy whose profile knocks her socks off.
She gets all excited about him, and the first date does not disappoint.
Now, this guy is such a front-runner that she drops every other prospect like a hot potato.
What’s the point of talking to other guys when I like this one guy so much? the other guy isn’t necessarily as smitten with you. That’s a guy who is seeing you, seeing others, and keeping his options open.
Before I do, I’d like to pre-empt all of the people who are inclined to tell me I’m wrong because they did it another way: yes, there are 100 ways to do things.
This was specifically created to protect the hearts of women who have sex with guys they’ve been seeing for a few weeks, and proceed to get upset when they see him online, when he doesn’t text frequently enough, and when it’s become increasingly clear that he just wanted sex, not a relationship. If he does – if he thinks he deserves to get laid when he hasn’t committed to you – well, I guess he’s not going to get laid. A man isn’t boyfriend-worthy because you feel a real connection with him.
If that describes you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with four weeks of foreplay without intercourse, and if the guy bails, it’s because he really didn’t want a relationship with you to begin with. Any questions about sexclusivity can be addressed here. Don’t leave any daylight between exclusive and boyfriend. Sometimes, when women who are new at “sexclusivity” bring it up to their men, they say something like, “So I just want to make sure you’re not sleeping with anybody else right now.” The guy says, “Nope. A man is boyfriend-worthy if he’s demonstrating that he’s serious about being in a relationship with you.
This is not to say that it’s “wrong” to commit to someone before 4 weeks; merely that you’ll have a better sense of who you’re committing if you vet him first, instead of giving him a free pass to boyfriend-hood because you like him and want to sleep with him.
To the original poster’s point, you really shouldn’t have to “bring up” whether he’s your boyfriend.